Surviving morning sicknes

Of all the subjects I've written about since starting this blog - cleaning, cooking, organising - this is one I feel I am qualified to give suggestions on. During my pregnancy with the frog I had hyperemesis, which is extreme morning sickness. I was sick on average every hour, for almost the entire 10 months I was pregnant, leading to my being hospitalised twice. From getting pregnant to giving birth I lost 2 stone in weight (as opposed to the 2 stone you're meant to be putting on). Following the frog's birth I lost a following 3 stone (thanks to breastfeeding and not having an 8lb baby inside me anymore!). This pregnancy has been a lot better and I'm very grateful, but I'm still sick most days. So all that to say, I know what I'm talking about. Here are my top tips:

#1. Don't assume it'll end
For 9 months I had everyone - friends, family, midwives and doctors (even people on the street!) telling me not to worry, that it'll go away at 12 week, 16 week, 20 week... no luck. I was sick until an hour after I had given birth (that came as a shock I can tell you). I spent the whole pregnancy wondering why I wasn't feeling better, thinking maybe I was just being a wimp and wanting to throttle everyone who said "it'll go away soon". I started feeling more able to handle it when I assumed that it was going to last my whole pregnancy. That's what I've done this time around as well, so when I stopped being quite as sick around 16 weeks it came as a lovely surprise.

#2. Work it into your routine
I was always sick after a car journey, so I knew to park at the shops nearest the toilet. My family knew to let me get to a toilet as soon as I got anywhere. It was just something that became part of every day life - I knew I would be sick so made plans. In this pregnancy I don't make plans that involve me going out the house for at least the first few hours if I can help it.

#3. Make it as pleasant as possible for yourself
A strange thing to say, I'll grant you, but there are ways of making the experience slightly less horrific.  For me it was having a clean toilet. My amazing husband who had never cleaned a toilet before in his life started doing it a few times a week so that at least the environment was as nice as possible. Take your phone so when you're sitting there deciding if you need to be sick you can be playing a game/listening to music. Take a blanket (I often get the shivers after a lot of throwing up). When you're out, know where the nearest decent toilet is. It might not make it better but it will make it more survivable. I also didn't want people coming in and asking me if I was okay - no I was not okay and did not want to talk to anyone. I make this clear to everyone - my poor husband had to suffer lots of glares when he'd just let me get on with it, but it's what I needed.

#4. Try suggestions
I was so sick with the frog that I got to the point I wouldn't try anything, because I just thought "what's the point?". People's suggestions really annoyed me, especially when they told me to eat little and often. But sickness changes across your pregnancy, and I think some of those things might have helped later on. Ginger biscuits, watermelon, sickness bands - they're all worth a try. Eating little and often is the only thing that stops the sickness in this pregnancy. Also, don't feel too guilty about what you're eating. Of course babies need nutrients but they are amazingly adaptable. The only thing that didn't make me sick with the frog was feta cheese and pesto, so that's basically all I ate. In this pregnancy early on it was peanut butter and bananas. Just do what you can, and be sure to eat more when you feel able.

#5. My silver lining
I had a lot of anxiety during my pregnancy - I constantly worried that something was wrong with the baby. It would keep me up at night and scare me to death. It is true that sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy, so every time I was sick I remembered that meant the baby was okay. I can't tell you how much that helped (to the point that when I would go half a day without being sick I would panic that something was wrong). I've been considerably less anxious in this pregnancy, and I've been considerably less sick. I don't think the two are related, all I know is that I don't need that constant reassurance in this pregnancy, and I'm (thankfully) not getting it.

Morning sickness is debilitating. Often seen as a bit of a humorous side-effect, when it goes on for an extended period it's extremely difficult to live with. But live with it you will. Survive it you will. And after the baby comes, no matter how little sleep you're living on or how teary you are, hold on to the fact that at least you've stopped throwing up. It made all the difference for me in those first, difficult weeks.

Blog Link-up 2

http://smarttereachday.com/
Jessica has some great recipes, but I've most enjoyed her writings on reducing the time spent on the internet.

http://www.keeperofthehome.org/blog
This whole website is great - they have really good ideas and are not afraid to stand by their ideals, even when challenges come their way. At the moment they're doing a great 'day in the life of' series, which I'm planning on doing here. Keep a look out!

http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.co.uk/
Anyone who has typed 'organising' into pinterest will know about this site. Jen has some incredible ideas and links up with many more blogs. From organising a family binder to a morning routine, Jen has the answers.

When you just don't know

Last night was one of those terrible ones that seem to last for days and days. It was the first night of a wee break away for the three of us, and the frog had been awake since 2am, refusing to go back to sleep. I had taken over after an hour from my tired (and dare I say slightly grumpy?!) husband, and I was soon going the same way.

The thing is, I just didn't know what to do. What should I do? Attachment parenting, gentle parenting, spiritual training? What would my sister, mother or mother-in-law do (all of who's parenting techniques are very different but I respect)? What would Dr Sears or Michelle Duggar do (both of who's books I refer to frequently)?

I then started thinking, maybe I should ask myself: what would Jesus do? And you know what? I had nothing. Not a single helpful thought came into my head from asking that question. I racked my brain for a biblical verse about how to make a stubborn toddler go to sleep.

My fellow mamas - there is no such verse (to my limited knowledge). It does not go Matthew-Mark-Luke-Parenting-John. Oh how I wish there was such a such a book in the bible! How I wish there was some clear guidance that is God-breathed (and therefore, in my mind, undeniable) about all parenting-related matters. Dummies, swaddling, co-sleeping - how wonderful would it be if there was a clear answer for every such matter. I'm afraid there just isn't.

This is not me asking for advice, although I would gladly and humbly take any right now. Nor is it me giving advice - quite the opposite. It is me stating quite clearly that sometimes I just don't know what to do. And when I have 10 different parenting techniques battling inside my head, along with all the voices of well-meaning advice-givers, I don't feel prepared: I feel completely overwhelmed.

All of that advice is great if it works for you. But sometimes, it just won't. The reason for this (I firmly believe), is that no one has ever raised your child before. He is as unique as you are, and that means he'll require a unique parenting technique. God gave me my husband, we conceived the frog out of love. I bore him, gave birth to him and nursed him.* That means that I'm his expert. I know him better than anyone but God, and that to me is a truly comforting thought. So surely with God's help, I can figure him out? Maybe not tonight or in a year, but I will spend my lifetime as a mother trying.

And what will I do tonight if the same happens? I'll probably have a cry, a moan at God that He's not giving me what I want and maybe a complete meltdown about having another when the one I have doesn't sleep. Middle-of-the-night meltdowns are my speciality - please don't think you're the only one who has them (or maybe I am...?!).

What do you do when you just don't know what to do?

*Let me be clear, I know wonderful parents who have adopted, as well as Daddies who are not biologically fathers, who are the very best thing for that child. However your child came to you - whatever pathway God chose for that journey - this all very much still applies.

Meal Planning

Meal planning is one of those things that it seems only super organised people do. You know the ones I mean - who have breakfast, lunch and dinner (all homemade and healthy of course), prepared 3 months in advance. I'm not that person. My schedule changes week on week, and I like to decide what we'll eat based on tastes, effort the meal takes and health issues (e.g. lots of hearty stews when colds are hitting). To do this I have a wonderful resource, the Organised Mum Fridge List. Honestly they should pay me for endorsements because not only do I frequently buy it for friends and family, I tell everyone I know about it! There's a meal planner on one side and a shopping list on the other, and it stays permanently on my fridge. Anytime we're running low I just pop it on the list, knowing it won't be forgotten.

 

So on Mondays I write our weekly meal plan - to do this I have a list of the recipes I know how to cook (my Mam always said the hardest part of feeding a family is thinking of meals and she's right). I can then check our pantry and freezer to see what we need and then write my shopping list accordingly. I also have a small magnetic whiteboard on my fridge with a list of my freezer inventory - I don't know about you but I have no desire to rake through my much-needed-be-be-defrosted freezer every week. If anything on the plan needs defrosting I'll asterisk it and try to take it out the night before.

 

Anyway, that's my secret behind meal planning.  It saves so much money at the shops (we rarely throw stuff away) and time at night. It also saves us ordering takeout as much, which I really enjoy and like to keep for special occasions.

 

How does your family organise meals?

The joy of my life

Looking back on my recent posts, I've done a lot of complaining. Sickness, tiredness and being overwhelmed have all contributed, but let me tell you something - I lead a truly blessed life. So in light of that, I wanted to do a post and share with you just how wonderful the frog is, and how much joy he brings to my everyday:

• He still sleeps with his legs tucked under him, just like he did in the womb and as a newborn (thus the nickname!).
• I told him today we couldn't get the washing out the machine as the basket was upstairs. So off he toddles to his nappy basket, empties them all and brings it to me, a huge smile on his face.
• He'll always give cuddles and kisses, even without being asked.
• He's a master of escape and could climb out of his cot age 6 months.
• If anyone mentions they don't feel well, he'll bring them his blanket.
• After a small fall down the stairs yesterday (me and baby fine), he gave me a pat on the back (literally) and started picking up the laundry I'd dropped.
• If I'm not paying attention to him he'll hold my face with both hands, plant a huge kiss and then try to tell me what he wants
• He has wonderfully ticklish thighs and giggles uncontrollably.

What do your kids do that melt your heart on a daily basis?

My wonderful whiteboard

That's right, I'm about to do a whole post about the wonders of my whiteboard. I have a good-quality one (by that I mean £40, not £100!), magnetic with colourful whiteboard markers. It's in my kitchen (the centre of most houses), and on it goes my cleaning list, reminder list and frog list.

Cleaning List: I got printable magnet paper, which was a brilliant buy. I then put on my 7 chores of each day (see My daily 8 details), so I can tick off as I go along. This is mostly because I love lists and this works for me - I know some people would hate having a list like this around all the time. It just means that I can always see what needs done, especially if I only have 10 minutes. Yes sometimes I get down about all the crosses on the board, and some weeks I don't full it in at all. But mostly, I find it works really well.

Reminder List: In the middle of the board are all of my weekly reminders. They tend to be longer-term things that need doing, and often are the same ones I put up months ago. But I do find it helpful to have them somewhere I see them every day.

Frog List: This isn't an actual list, it's pictures of different activities, like singing, reading, playing etc. I don't know about you but sometimes I just don't know what to do with my frog, or (bad mama moment) I realise he's been playing by himself for the majority of the day. This would leave me feeling guilty and like a bad mother. So I have these pictures (also printed on magnet paper), and when we've done these activities we move them over. I don't aim to get all of them done in a day, they're just suggestions and a visual way to remind myself that I did do fun things with him (for my especially guilt-ridden days). I wanted to use pictures because when Noah's old enough I want to do something similar for chores, so I want him to be used to it. 

Blog link-up

As well as writing this blog, I'm an avid reader of other blogs. So I've decided to sometimes post links to the blogs I've been reading and enjoyed. I haven't read all the posts of all these blogs, so I can't say I agree with everything said. I usually just enjoy their writing, respect their views and find their suggestions helpful. I've had permission from the authors to share their blogs. Just for interest, I use the blog reader Feedly on my iPhone.

http://redandhoney.com/
 - Beth is the wife of an airline pilot and mother of 3. She survives on God's grace and coffee. I enjoy her realistic approach to handling her hoard.

http://organizinglifewithlittles.wordpress.com/
 - Kelsey is a super-organised mother of two little boys. She has some great ideas about realistically organising your house when you have little ones, as well as maintaining a very strict family budget. She is also very sweet and encouraging!